New Year - Kindness is a Verb
“I will tell of the kindnesses of the Lord, the deeds for which he is to be praised, according to all the Lord has done for us— yes, the many good things he has done for Israel, according to his compassion and many kindnesses.”
Isaiah 63:7
When I was quite young, my two older brothers* teased me incessantly. I’m sure I was bothersome to them, always wanting to play with their cool toys, but their ribbing often resulted in hot tears streaming down my face as I endeavored to “get even”.
No surprise, my juvenile actions never brought about the desired effect.
It was in such moments of anguish my wise sister would say, “Janet, you’ve got to get them back with kindness”.
What?
Such input baffled me. How would that repay them? How would kindness get back at them? It took a few years for me to finally understand her wisdom.
Here’s the truth: I have zero chance of changing anyone’s behavior besides mine. I only needed to focus on my conduct not on that of my brothers. Isn’t it the same for all of life? I can alter only myself and my actions. She encouraged me to be kind because that was the right choice.
It is never wrong to be kind.
According to author and writer Emily Esfahani Smith, “There are two ways to think about kindness. You can think about it as a fixed trait: either you have it, or you don’t. Or you could think of kindness as a muscle. In some people, that muscle is naturally stronger than in others, but it can grow stronger in everyone with exercise.” Whatever level of kindness you possess, you can increase it with practice and intention.
This thought was recently presented to me: kindness is a verb.
It makes me think about the verse at the beginning, describing God as one who shows compassion and many kindnesses. His actions of pouring out so much kindness is a trait we can easily emulate.
Because kindness isn’t simply sitting on a shelf waiting for some extraordinary circumstance, but a choice of how you act, an endeavor reaching into every corner of life. An “action-item” on the checklist of life.
Kindness toward others. And kindness toward yourself.
I like this concept especially now as we head into a new year. There are many influences urging us to reflect and consider who we will be as the next calendar year rolls around. It’s tempting in such moments to lose all kindness and become negative and dissatisfied about our progress, our mind can fill with ugly, unkind thoughts.
Will such unkindness help you grow, change, or improve?
Might it be better to practice tenderness? Will you give it a try?
Being kind to your self is more than repeating a positive mantra each night before you sleep, it’s about finding spaces that bring you joy and choosing to spend time there, it’s about keeping your focus on the good.
For example, I love to play the piano; it soothes and helps me find a happy place in my heart. I also love to garden; nurturing the plants refreshes my soul. Some people enjoy art or crafts, others take long walks, practice yoga or ride horses. Time spent doing things you love ushers in a measure of peacefulness and serenity in your heart.
What is it for you?
Also, it is a kindness to focus on the good, of which there is much! Perhaps you haven’t accomplished all your goals, but can you see forward progress? It is easy to see the problems or setbacks, but can you kindly concede to that which is good in your life and speak some words of kindness to yourself?
Perhaps there are small changes you’ve made that will help lead to further growth? Acknowledge these areas and be gracious about the positive aspects. Speak kindly toward yourself -- about yourself. Remember the many kindnesses of God! His kindness is a verb, poured out richly in your life.
Remember, it is never wrong to be kind. God has shown you the way by generously offering kindness to you. Offer kindness to others and take some for yourself.
Choose kindness. Always.
*My brothers and I share a deep and meaningful adult friendship, filled with laughter and kindness.