Letting Go

“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.”  

-Ann Landers (long-time newspaper advice columnist)

I’ve been thinking about spring storms. In Texas where I live, we get severe wind and rainstorms, blowing fiercely, bending the trees precariously. It reminds me of our far northern neighbors who get spring snowstorms. At this time of year, the trees are leafing toward the next season, but when a late snowfall roars it, it often causes damage due to the weight of the snow on those young leaves. An overlapping of seasons.

I wonder if we don’t find ourselves similarly overburdened when we allow our seasons to overlap too long. (I mean, who wants winter in summer?) For example, we look back on bothersome issues from the past and bring them into the present; it weighs us down twice over. Or when the fear and worry about days ahead plague us, it adds an extra burden of a future season to our soul already busy enough with today. We are not meant to carry the weight of two seasons.

Might we lighten the load? What distress could we release to give us relief? For many of us, we are more apt to unburden ourselves if we’ll start simple and move gently into the more difficult areas.

Simple idea:

Physical clutter. You know what it is - piles in corners, drawers jammed with pens, paperclips, take-out menus and post-it notes. We think we’ll get to it one day, but today keeps becoming someday.

Actionable:

Right now, in your current workspace. Grab five things you can throw away. Then put four things away where they belong. If you get on a roll, clean out one drawer in need of reordering.

You get the idea. Box up ten items from your closet and donate to those who can better use them. Doing something is better than doing nothing.

Harder idea:

Procrastination. You know what it is - your “to-do” list, a birthday card to send, chore to complete, workout plan to restart, and bills to pay. We plan to get to it, but the list keeps getting longer.

Actionable:

Right now, look at your list and do one of the items. Don’t put it off. If it’s truly impossible to complete right now, (you’ve called your doctor and they are at lunch, you may have to wait to call back, I get it), but do a portion of one of those things.

You get the idea, do something, not nothing.

Hardest idea:

If you carry bitterness, sadness or anger from the past, you have a choice today to release it or continue to carry the oppressive weight. It may be an old grudge weighing us down like those trees holding the heavy snow, we may be about to snap under the pressure. Isn’t it time to let go of some of this?

The scariest moment is right when you admit it’s there. Even so, when we start to make some forward steps, we’ll find courage to keep going.

Actionable:

Voice it. Say out loud what you know is weighing you down. This helps us recognize the truth and from there, we’ll be able to make some plans to move beyond the burden.

Take one step. It may be a quiet prayer asking for help, starting again or picking up the phone. I know a woman who wrote a letter to a deceased parent, asking for forgiveness. Not something she could actually mail but putting it to paper helped her release some of the burden. Figure out what your next positive step is, no matter how small, and take it.

Change me. None of us will ever change any other person no matter how much we rage, storm and stomp our foot. Each of us is only able to change ourselves. I always hope my changes might be a positive influence on those around me, but at the end of the day, they’ll make their own choice to change.

Be thankful. All experiences in life, (the ones that made you laugh and the ones that made you cry), are what helped you become the person you are today. And you are an amazing person!

None of us like looking at these tougher emotions, it’s much easier to stuff them way back in a bottom drawer. Yet, the inner freedom we create by letting go of unneeded heaviness gives us an opportunity to fill the space with something fresh and fun. Something hopeful!

Remember also, when we hold tight to yesterday’s pain, it keeps our hands full and unable to take hold of the good of today. 

So, whether you donate a few items to a shelter or make steps to salvage an important relationship, do something, not nothing.